things that make me happy, eight years ago

Though I made this list in 2016, when I felt like I was at beyond rock bottom, and though my opinion on some of the points have changed, I still do read it from time to time. I think the last time I opened it with a purpose was in 2022.

I forgot how and why I ended up with this list. And yes, I do find it kinda corny at first. But as time passes I started seeing it differently—it's cute, it's endearing, and it's quite helpful. Though I have to admit that one time, a few years ago when I was relapsing, I read it again and ugly-cried because of how cheesy the whole idea was. How is this supposed to save me? I started crying and laughing at the same time. Now I'm just glad I still get to read it for the nth time, writing about it, sharing it.

It certainly is a good time to share. Earlier today I thought a lot about my friends, how nice they are and how nice they have been to me. If you're reading this, I owe you so much.

———

(20/02/2016, ??:?? AEST)

Things That Make Me Happy (and Possibly Make My Life Worth Living)

1. Mom ♡

2. Kakak

3. ████ & Caca

4. Art (including painting)

5. Best Friends:

   1. ███

   2. ███

   3. ███

   4. ███

   5. ███

   6. ███

6. Sceneries

7. Flowers

8. Field of flowers

9. Claude Monet's paintings

10. Gustav Klimt's paintings

11. Pak Yohannes

12. Oma

13. Christmas @ Oma's House

14. Buka puasa sama mama

15. First cigarette in the morning

16. Stickers

17. Putting stickers on my stuff

18. Especially on my lighter

19. Classic novels

20. TV shows

21. Illegal downloads

22. Spotify

23. Free WiFi

24. First shower after a hot day

25. First shower after being sweaty af

26. Ballet & Musicals

27. Watching movies alone

28. Watching movies w/ ███

29. ███

30. Nyender ke pundaknya ███

31. Pegang tangannya ███

32. Being needed by someone

33. When my phone connects to the bluetooth connection of ███'s car

34. Hugging ███

35. Hugging my mom

36. Hugging (suffocating) a puppy

37. Puppies & Dogs

38. Sea creatures

39. Sharks

40. Coral reefs

41. The ocean

42. Water

43. Smell of sand

44. The sun ☼

45. Autumn/Fall

46. Jetskiing

47. Being flexible (physically & time-wise)

48. Feeling smart

49. Making memories

50. Collecting memories

51. Instant photos & photobooths

52. "Stacy"

53. Vodka shots

54. Dancing while I'm tipsy

55. Jake Gyllenhaal's eyes

56. Stupid insta/twitter accounts

57. Emojis

58. Stalking people

59. Others' lives

60. Writing

61. Receiving Letters

62. Lippo Mall Kemang Village

63. Stretching my legs

64. My eyelashes

65. Black nail polish

66. Mini skirts

67. Anklets

68. Changing hairstyle

69. Scissors

70. Burning stuff

71. Theme parks

72. Long car rides

73. Going somewhere new

74. ███ (same as #29)

75. Being part of something

76. Kill Bill Volume 1 & 2

77. Horror movies

78. Blood

79. Slasher movies

80. Watching dumb reality shows

81. Cartoon shows

82. Romanticizing things

83. Swearing

84. Feeling special

85. Feeling as if I have a special connection with Allah SWT

86. Vintage posters

87. Especially pin-up girls

88. And Virginia Slim ads

89. Indie models

90. When I got my braces off

91. Being studious

92. Cute pyjamas

93. Cute underwear

94. Photoshop

95. Panic! at the Disco

96. Lana Del Rey

97. Going to concerts

98. Going to parties

99. Dressing up for an event

100. Curling my eyelashes

101. Eyeliner on my tear-line

102. Black lipstick

103. Rosy cheeks

104. Being ███

105. Washing dishes

106. Music before bedtime

107. B̶e̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶a̶l̶o̶n̶e̶ ̶(̶s̶o̶m̶e̶t̶i̶m̶e̶s̶)̶ NOT feeling lonely

108. Talking to ███

109. Duffy

110. Night sky

111. X-Men movies

112. Museums

113. Art Galleries

114. Feeling like a nice person

115. Learning new stuff

116. Feeling wanted

117. When people say/think I'm pretty

118. Lip products

119. Mascara

120. Pampered

121. Salons & Spas

122. Clubbing

123. Feeling like I should not care

124. Cropped tops

125. Cute dresses

126. Skull Prints

127. High-waisted jeans

128. High-waisted skirts

129. Fast food

130. Pasta

131. Pancakes

132. When people care

133. Having ███ by my side

134. Potato, broccoli, cheese

135. Instant noodles

136. Hearing good things about me

137. Birthdays

138. MY birthdays

139. Getting attention

140. Not arguing w/ mom

141. TV w/ mom

142. Being useful

143. Feeling alright

144. Being organized

145. F.R.I.E.N.D.S

146. New people

147. Socializing

148. Talking to people

149. Being sassy

150. Throwing shades @ people

151. Girl groups

152. Kpop dance choreos

153. HTML codes

154. My laptop